A body in the woods finds meaning within the insects that swarm it.

when the news reports of my disappearance my body will lie still in the earth beneath me, and i will be complete
when the search and rescue team find me they will carry me out from the mud, place me on a stretcher, and take me to the nearest morgue
when the undertakers tear their scalpels through the flesh of my chest and find a hornet's nest embedded between my lungs
i will be nothing short of a spectacle
 
there is a thrumming beneath my skin
an infestation consuming me vein to vein
and i am in love
a hive pulsing within my heart
humming
echoing through my ears and mouth as i lie in the soil gazing at the sky above me
i am in love and they love me
and they need me
i am their sanctuary
warm flesh as food and shelter
tear me apart for i am yours

if the pain was a problem i’d tear them out myself
free myself from every sting, every bite, every burn
but pain is a part of love
and to love is to rot
i love you and you devour me
make me into something new
make me whole by taking away every last part of me
like i was born for this
like i died for this
so i can be complete

Process

I had originally written a poem about a year ago on the idea of pain manifesting itself as a burning in your heart, as if it were a hornets nest was in your body that you couldn’t get out. Overtime, I felt as if the piece could’ve described a different, more complicated feeling: what happens when you become used to how it feels to be sad. I changed the focus from how bad the pain feels to how comforting it can be, something which I believe isn’t talked about enough.