La Niña y La Del Barrio

By Emely C Fabian Vasquez

The privilege to read someone’s story is great, but what counts the most is the experience you leave with after you reach the last page.

Raised by a strong Dominican woman 
Her strong character many times overshadows mine 

I enjoy listening to hip-hop 
while my mother 
enjoys her salsa and bachata
I like to wear my hair curly 
and she likes hers blown out 

My mother believes in God 
and follows the ten commandments 
I identify as a spiritual believer

 My mother identifies as Latina
 Dominican 
 Her safety net
 All she's ever known.
  I identify as Afro-Latina
 I am Black,
 But, I am also Latina

 I grew up surrounded by Black culture through my community
 Streetwear
 slang
 The city
 The projects
 MTA
 While my mother grew up around the trees
 El colmado
 La musica
 El campo
 
 All my life
 I went by everything my mother told me and hid parts of myself 

All my life
 I swallowed so many words to keep the peace
 
It grew overwhelming
To have someone teach me who I had to be
To meet 
expectations
needs
desires 
 
I couldn’t stay quiet anymore 
I was trying to save the world from my mother’s judgment
but who was to save me
I had to save myself this time and so I did. 

My mother doesn't always agree with how I choose to express myself
Our differences are what makes us 
unique
What makes me
Me
And her, 
her
So I stopped comparing
Stopped fixing what wasn’t broken

Now I see myself
Emely
The one coming from behind the shadows

Process

As a senior, you have a lot of responsibilities. One of the major given responsibilities would be the college process. A struggle of mine was writing my personal statement. I wanted to write something with a balance of being personal, demonstrating growth, and emphasizing my background. With the help of my mentor Shanice I was able to write down on paper my conflicting relationship with my mother while demonstrating my growth throughout. I decided that for my Girls Write Now solo piece I wanted to write something as personal as my personal statement. So I decided to recycle the essay and turn it into a poem instead. I added pictures I have taken from my phone to give it that experience and feel as if I am the reader and the audience are the authors.