loving (lying)
i love you i type. i send it before i lose my courage. i wait. … appears on the screen. haha lol he sends first. what are you laughing at? i think to myself. me? i picture you leaned up against your bedframe face illuminated by the brightness of your screen brows furrowed, sighing at a naive girl’s innocence. you lower the brightness of your phone to see “i love you” in its full glory in black nondescript font. i wait to see if you will reciprocate my lie. i love you too he chooses to write, lying between his teeth. i smile at my screen anyway, laughing at the irony of it all. both of us say “i love you” as part of a game. we lie to enthrall and trap each other in webs. no one wants to be the first to lose, to surrender. you spin lies like a spider, weaving a web that’s ethereal at first sight, with dew clinging to the glowing strands. yet as i fly closer, my wings beating fast— a mirror to my beating heart, i see the corpses: mutilated, broken, ugly.
Process
I came up with this idea late at night when I was laying on my bed, looking up at my ceiling and thinking about what it’s like to be a teenager in love. This poem is not based on a true story, yet I tried to depict the feeling of lying to someone. I tried to imagine the two people in their separate beds on their phones and the emotions running through their heads. I was also thinking of a possible metaphor that I could use and came up with a spider luring its prey to its web but realizing the prey is smarter than it thinks.
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Sophia Luo is a sophomore in high school in New York City. She loves to write poetry and short stories…
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