My Fingers Grip the Handles To My Bag

A spoken word piece concerning Asian hate crimes and the feeling of being the next victim.

My fingers grip the handles to my bag
As I scatter through the Atlantic Terminal
I am on my way to school
And at last I settle into the station

The tunnel in front is barren and lacks light
Tracks below shine dully with aged metal
Trash litters in small amounts of sewage
And the rats scavenge for their next meal

I grew up with these stations
I remember
My nausea when I first rode the subway
The books I read on the subway
When I just barely catch the subway

I find myself here
Today
Tomorrow
And the days after

And now
I fear this place

Michelle Alyssa Go was a consultant
She loved traveling and helping others
She is remembered for her compassion
And her work for helping New York’s poverty

Michelle Alyssa Go was murdered
She was pushed into train tracks

So quickly
And before she could react
. . .

Christina Yuna Lee was a producer
She advocated for inclusivity in the music industry
She heard about Michelle
And thought going home via Uber would be safer

Christina Yuna Lee was murdered
She was stabbed over forty times

She screamed
But was not saved

Tomorrow we will discuss the 
Mental health situation of the city
The discrimination, misogyny, and racism
But tonight we mourn
The lost daughters of the Asian community

Courts and judges will decide
The nature and sentencing
Of the crimes
But I
As another Asian woman
Cannot stand the possibility
Of being another victim

Another headline
Another lost
Daughter
Sister

This year I will be eighteen
Eighteen years I have lived
Eighteen more I wish to live
And many decades after

I should not have to fear my life
Because of my skin color or
My almond-shaped eyes
I stand not only with my community

But with anyone
Who was, would, will
Be taken advantage of
For something they cannot change