I feel freedom when I smell soap. 

The lingering smell of dawn dish soap, baking soda, and hot water wafts right in front of my face, the dishes, hot out of the sink, are perfectly clean. The sink is shining back at me, as a thank you for the hard work finished moments before.  

The smell of white dove bar soap and my curly hair products envelop the steamy bathroom, coating the mirrors, the room is foggy and sweetly scented.  

The soapy smell of my room spray drifts through my room after a vacuum has sucked up every particle from every crevice. Crisp, fresh, gray sheets line my bed, perfumed with detergent, straight out of the wash. 

The faint smell of soap cleans a dish, tames a curl, and puts the day to order. A scented reminder I control my destiny. A messy stack of dishes is now a set washed perfectly to my standards, stacked exactly in the order I love, and with the best blue soap, even good for ducks, with a glimmering sink left behind. Stepping into the steamy shower where the suds wash away all the stress within me, melting the day away. I add leave-in to my hair, picking apart strands, scrunching in product, smooth, defined, definitively mine. Stepping into my room, I jump into bed, soapy sheets, as I’m wrapped within the warmest blanket I fall asleep to the faint smells of the day’s soaps around me. 

The soapy smell reminds me that the things I do not like I can change. A stack of dirty dishes, greasy hair, a messy room. Soap gives me agency, soap helps me clean my forged path. Soap transcends chores. Soap gives me the freedom to choose. It starts as a quiet choice at the kitchen sink and ends as choices that shape who I am. 

Process

This piece came out of a pair session. Sidney brings creative writing prompts, and we work on them for 10 minutes and sometimes finish as post session homework. It’s a practice we recently started and I love it. The prompt for this piece was, “I feel freedom when..”