I Wish Love Was Simple

By Margareta Stern

These poems are inspired by my experiences with love. Through writing these pieces I was able to express myself and get closure from the past, which has made me the person that I am today.

“Exposed to a universe of unimaginable emptiness”
Why can’t you just trust what we have?
because i couldn’t give that love to you.
Bring me back to a time where my brain wasn’t hungry no more
because i need energy
                                 energy
                                             i need energy
before i turn zombie.
My identity was crushed because i was in pain
and i knew my heart had shattered
because when i try so hard
i turn zombie.
And because you loved her
i could not hold onto my sanity no longer
so i fall to my emptiness
my unimaginable emptiness.
which formed through experiences turned my life to an obstacle course.
Exposure to when i couldn’t find love in anything or anyone
and
closure to when i sought out the reasons why.
Exposed to the universe.
Vulnerable to criticism.
to criticize and compare ourselves to others.
The drug of desire.
The addiction for human desire.
Exposed to the universe that is constantly expanding
and when the dark side is lost in our nature
the closure is unimaginable.

“Long gone from a memory”
Why do you have to be the way that you are?
I must resist my temptations of pure anger and lust
so that you don’t become long gone from my memory
because when you were gone my heart yearned for that affectionate love
which was our love
a crossroad type of love formed through our internal struggles
and even though we witness the stop signs
we choose to ignore them.
We excellerate on the highway of passion
and oh baby our love is in flames
save me before i’m long gone.
I love you.
Tell me I’ll be ok.
I’m sorry that I crashed
but do you still love me?
I’ll be ok.
Because my insecurities they are on me
and the voices in my head they are inside me.
I’m scared of feeling not good enough
memories in the past have have shown me what it’s like to feel
long gone
         long gone
                     long gone.
So i’m sorry that I crashed
I just needed a way out.

“I wish someone had”
And I’m reaching the limit
you’ve got me floating on love
and I wish someone had warned me about how much it hurts
to fall in love with someone who isn’t in love with you.
I wish someone had warned me
that the freshman boy would only break my heart
and that the mysterious stranger from the corner of the room would kiss me in the basement closet
and only break my heart.
Oh and the girl that showed interest in me
well somebody could’ve warned me
that I’d only break her heart too.
My curiosity when I look at you and know you’re not the one
and I wish someone had told me that life goes on even when you don’t want it to.
Do you remember how you made me feel?
I had grown numb to the way you treated me
because i wanted so much
even when you continued to ignore me and put me down
because you were taken by a memory of love that took your life away.
You’re not the one.
because drifting to the arms of the deceased
cuts my soul so deep
so please when you open your eyes can you see that I’m not the one?
as you’re not the one for me.

“Why can’t you love me?”
Why can’t you love me like you loved her?
because I’m not her
and I'm sorry.
I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t just a rebound to you
but everybody is someone’s rebound at some point
and our paths just happened to cross one another.
Why can’t you love me like you loved her?
because you lie to yourself
while I’m left to piece together the truth
but you don’t notice me doing so
because you only notice her and she’s a dead girl
so it must be my fault.
I'm not good enough.
Why can’t you love me like you loved her?
because I’m not her
and I'm sorry.
but before I leave I need to tell you my truth
which is that it just really hurts to know that i’ll never be the one for you
because when I look at you i want to hold you in my arms
so that you don’t leave me
but I didn’t want to accept that you were never mine
because you were already gone.