A darkly funny take on identity, ambition, and modern life. A mentee at Girls Write Now navigates cultural confusion, people-pleasing instincts, and the dream of running a country with empathy, practicality, and a little tyranny.

Hello everyone, my name is Manasi. It’s pronounced maan– like “man” in a Jamaican accent- and also the answer to the question: which body of water is rising rapidly due to climate change.

I’m a mentee at Girls Write Now, where I barely grasped a spot because I am 25. So from here on out, I will know everything there is to know about the world and never need a mentor again, which is great for me and terrifying for anyone younger than me.

Jokes aside, I am really grateful for this organization. It’s helped me widen my writing skills and helped me find like-minded people. And I think that’s important for someone like me who grew up surrounded by two different cultures. It’s hard because you always struggle to belong a little bit- but there are pros too. For example, I speak four languages.

You might wonder how many of them I’m fluent in, and the answer is… none of them. I speak each language just well enough to disappoint someone who had hope. I won’t be able to argue with you fluently, but I can say, “Yeah, I speak French a little,” and then stare at you blankly after your next question.

But I would still try. That’s for sure. I’m kind of a people pleaser, honestly. That’s why I think I would make a great dictator.

I want to remove Kim Jong Un- not to free all the citizens of North Korea- but so that I can take over. I mean, seriously, dictatorships get a really bad rep. In reality, no one knows how to do them right. Like, stop with the murders and the torture. You can literally get people to do anything for you and worship you. That’s basically heaven for someone who thrives off external validation.

I would keep my people so happy that they themselves would never want to leave. I mean, they couldn’t leave even if they wanted to- but that’s besides the point. Yes, you’d have to bow in front of my 50-foot statue every time you pass it, but come on- I’m also hosting Thirsty Thursdays with 50% off all drinks.

They wouldn’t be free, because I do still need to run the economy. What can I say? I’m a girl boss. I lean in, and I lead with empathy.

I am very practical that way. In fact, I start my mornings with the bitterness of world news rather than something sweet. It’s a new wellness trend I’m trying, and it seems to be working so far. I like to know what kind of world I’m waking up into before I decide how much effort to give it.

It’s usually a small scale. It toggles between “less” and “let’s just go back to bed.”

And that’s been happening a lot lately. I’ve just been feeling really down and sad, and I’ve been trying to figure out what exactly the cause is. And there are just too many options. I mean, it could be the weather. Or politics. Or the fact that I got fired last week.

Really, there are just so many options that I’m suspicious of anyone who’s too happy. You know? Like something’s just not adding up. Plus its not always because of me either so really there;s nothing in it for me.

but  I do hope all of you here got to be little bit happier than you came in and it really was such a joy performing tonight, thank you so much!!

Process

This piece comes from my life, growing up between two cultures and always feeling a little out of place. I speak four languages and am fluent in none of them. I people-please too much and overthink everything, which makes me great at imagining myself as a dictator or failing spectacularly at adulting.

I wanted to take those weird, disappointing, funny truths and just say them out loud. Workshops helped me see that the smaller, more specific details land hardest. The real magic comes from letting my life be awkward, sad, and ridiculous all at once, and describing it in a way that makes me appreciate all of it.

This piece was created as a part of Girls Write Now’s Power of Punchlines: Standup Comedy for Change Journey. Learn more about the Journey and join for next cycle here!