We are proud to present an essay by Alexandria Thornycroft, honorable mention in the 2025 Writing for Life Contest in the age 13-15 category.
Writing has always been in my blood. My mother a writer and translator of many novels, and my dad a published poet. So it’s understood that English projects had to be nothing but great. Even though It took me until I was 10 to truly want to have writing as a hobby. Before I would write math problems and explain them in my head when bored. I first found poetry in 4th grade. My class had a special class once a week on a Tuesday just for poetry. I would read poetry then write some, and if you were lucky you would get published. After I changed schools and I no longer had the poetry class, I left writing for a long time. It wasn’t until a day when I picked up a pencil and ripped some paper from my notebook. Then, I wrote my first real poem, not in class where we were given a prompt. After that, I never stopped.
Dear Alexandria,
It was the end of 5th grade. You practically followed your queer friend around like a dog. They never really cried and I think that you looked up to them for that. Our mother and father were not afraid of making homophobic jokes, the same for our friends. It wasn’t taught in your house that being gay was a sin or anything close to that. I fear our family knew you were queer even before you stopped wearing dresses. Still, those little jokes made all the difference. Friends were so much worse. Your openly queer friend was made fun of in the group constantly and texted 988 during their free time, so not many good representations of the idea of being queer. You wanted to think it was fake, gross even. You thought that maybe it’s just because you think that women can be pretty, but it was just as your mother would compliment a woman’s outfit. So you joined your family and friends, and made many more offensive jokes than your friends and family, got your brain engraved to hate anything close to the idea of gay. You talked about the guys in your class without ever really feeling anything and you hated yourself every single second you stared at a woman walking by for a second too long. You saw all the unforgiving people, the stereotypes, yourself and decided not to ever even try to understand your thoughts. The fear of being not accepted, or even unwelcome was so scary that you even started to gaslight yourself. “This will pass,” you thought.
Even now when I’m writing this 3 years later and I understand that it’s fine and my family truly doesn’t care and already knows, I still find myself always thinking things when I act “different.” I still make homophobic jokes and think homophobic things about someone who is more outwardly gay than me. After writing so much poetry to try to learn and understand what it is to be me, I still haven’t fully accepted to love it.
It was 7th grade when you really threw yourself at poetry. Writing became your safe space, you could tell our notebook anything, your fears, desires, or stories on the spot. Never were you judged, pitied, or looked at differently. You had our Moleskine; it was always waiting for you, every single night. Our Moleskine was your only output for any emotion you had, the times you wanted to disappear, when your memories you pushed away came back, when you looked in the mirror. I write this letter for you and I, you so you can know what happened to me, and so I can be hopeful that I changed. I miss your small eyes and nose, sweet virgin mind, honey-comb-colored hair, and confidence no one in the world could have. What writing did for me is it let me realize what it’s meant to open up to others and understand what I did. Even though I’m no way close to knowing who I am, I know writing has helped me find parts of me. No matter what though, I know that you would be proud of my writing and happy to know that yes, I still do little math problems in my head when bored.
Love you always,
Alexandria
About the Writing for Life Contest
Girls Write Now proudly joins forces with Chasing Spirits to present the inaugural “Writing for Life” Writing Prize. This award honors the free, rebellious spirit of fourteen-year-old Maya Logan Eileraas, who used the pandemic to write their novel and fought for writing as a lifeline while in foster care and mental healthcare facilities. Together, we amplify the vitality of today’s most promising young writers who use the power of their creative voices to confront the world around them.
This year, we asked girls and LGBTQIA+ writers aged 13-19 to respond to the prompt: Describe an especially difficult time you have faced, or something you have struggled to navigate, as a teenager. How has writing helped you to survive and creatively transform your experience into new understandings of self, home, and well-being?
The results were stunning reflections on mental health and the desire to find support during isolating times.
Maya's Story
About The Novel Chasing Spirits
Chasing Spirits honors the audacity and integrity of Maya Logan’s chosen path and the creative expressions that sustained them: intricate brushstrokes on canvas, poetic verses echoing their deepest thoughts, melodies strummed in solitude, and the midnight aromas of freshly baked confections.
After six months on the run from DCFS custody, hospital emergency rooms, adolescent psychiatric wards, police cars, strangers’ apartments, ambulances, and temporary shelters, Maya Logan was found unconscious in a group home in north Los Angeles.
Late one night in May 2021 during a global pandemic, fourteen-year-old Maya Logan Eileraas ran away to live with their girlfriend in Bel Air. “Nothing left to lose,” they posted on social media. Searching for their own truths around identity, home, family, world, and belonging, Maya Logan was fiercely determined to author a new life.
More than a tribute to an extraordinary teenager’s bold journey into the wild, gift for storytelling, and art of self-invention, Chasing Spirits is a stunning meditation on what it means to love, a nuanced exploration of the infinite complexity of the human psyche, and an unflinching look at a rebel heart whose light was extinguished too soon.
Centering Maya Logan’s novel, penned during the isolation of remote learning, as a testament to their profound introspection and boundless imagination, Chasing Spirits brings together investigative journalism, personal reflections, short stories, artwork, social media posts, and secret journals.
