By Rizouana Prome
It was difficult for me to adjust to the beginning phase of quarantine. This poem expresses how I felt about myself during this quarantine journey.
I feel like I am trapped in a nightmare I am continually doubting my existence I am unsure of who I am Or what I want to be Gradually I am losing my leaves I no longer blossom I am no longer a shelter for my people I am afraid a sudden storm will destroy my existence Leaving me uprooted
My mouth is a grenade
Any sudden moment it explodes
Destroying the people around me
The smoke darkening my gloomy world
I feel like I have become a burden
Which everyone wishes to get rid of
It only brings them pain and pressure
Useless and heavy
I am tired of me
My anger and rudeness
My behavior and my existence
Every day I want to disappear
Away from everything and everyone
The sudden changes in my life due to this pandemic had pushed me into a dark hole. It first started with being upset about the situation and then noticing I was losing interest in all my hobbies. Nothing seemed to bring joy to my life. It felt like I was losing parts of myself. This feeling had inspired me to compare myself with a tree. The inspiration for this poem had a lot to do with the thoughts I used to have before going to sleep. That is why it is named Four AM.
Rizouana is an extrovert, but as much as she likes hanging out with her friends and exploring, she is also attached to her own company. Rizouana believes having an optimistic and peaceful mindset is the key to making the most out of an experience. During her leisure time, she likes to draw, paint and write. Rizouana writes poetry, fiction, and memoirs about young adults’ lives. She likes reading fictional romance novels and philosophy. Rizouana is passionate about immigrant rights, women’s rights, and climate justice.