By Razan Zantout and Andrea Beatriz Arango

Share:

Marah’s double life is interrupted, forcing her to come to terms with finally stepping out of her comfort zone and living life for herself.

Jumble at Java Junction

It’s a random Friday when they catch me. 
If I had been checking my texts, 
I probably could have stopped it.
Made up an excuse for why I couldn’t get coffee.
Told them to try that new place across town. 

But I wasn’t checking,
because I was working, 
the “Welcome to Java Junction!”
dying on my lips 
as I see the group of them walk in,
laughing as they buzz from the energy
of being done with another long week.

They stare at me, confused, 
before one of them laughs and asks me 
why I didn’t tell them I had gotten a second job.
And it would be so easy to keep on lying,
so easy to make them think this is what I do
after I teach.

But something about their expectant faces 
makes me tired,
something about the espresso I just drank 
making me bold,
because I don’t lie,
don’t even try,
and instead tell them the truth.

“This is my only job. I quit two months ago.”
Everyone’s mouth drops,
and it would be funny if it weren’t my life,
except then,
instead of making fun of me
or telling me I’m worthless,
they all come and hug me tight.

“I’ve thought about quitting too.”
“Teaching is so hard.”
“Nobody here is judging you.”
“Honestly, you do you. It’s your life.”

Their words jumble around me,
the tears coming even in public
because this is not how I thought they’d react.
And if my friends can handle it,
if my friends won’t dump me
just cause we no longer share a career,
is it possible my parents too,
wouldn’t overreact? 

A Degree in Disappointment

I’ve confessed and some how, 
I’m alive and well.
Weight has been lifted off my shoulders, 
And I feel more free than I have in forever.
When my mom’s facetime call flashes on my screen, 
The adrenaline rushing through me forces me to answer. 
“Hey Hun, I was at Target and guess what I found?”
Her smile is radiant as she holds up cute goodie bags. 
I feel my heart shatter,
I instantly know that I have to tell her the truth. 
“So what do your little first graders like these days? I need to know what to fill these with,” she goes on.
A beat passes before I answer,
“I wouldn’t know, mom.”
Her confused frown makes me feel instant guilt and regret, 
“What do you mean you don’t know?” 
I sigh, “Mom, I quit teaching. I don’t have a class anymore.”
“Hun, I’m confused, what are you saying?
What about your degree? 
Why would you quit when you always sounded so happy?
So what are you going to do now?” 
She asks me these questions,
as if they haven’t plagued my mind ever since I quit. 
“I’ve been working a new job at this coffee shop-”
“A COFFEE SHOP? Did you lose your mind? You don’t even need a degree for that. Are you going through a midlife crisis and feel like you have to rebel now because you were a normal teenager?”
“What- no, Mom. I just realized that teaching isn’t for me, at all.”
I hear a sigh at the other end of the call,
“I know you’re disappointed but I’m trying to live life for myself, I want to discover my own likes and dislikes without the pressure and guilt of feeling like a disappointment… so please just allow me to do that.” 
I can tell she’s holding back her arguments,
But she stops herself and says,
“I understand, and I love you no matter what.” 

Epilogue: Lavender, Leisure, and Loving Myself

Looking out the window, 
I’m shocked to see the line that has formed.
Five years of working at Java Junction helped me realize that teaching was not for me,
But coffee is. 
And now here we are at Lavender & Leisure
and the people outside are proof that pursuing my passion
was the right thing to do.

I look towards the glass door
and am hit with something I can’t name
because my mom is first in line
even though she never visited me at Java Junction
never asked to hear my plans 
for Lavender & Leisure
a single time.

I wrap my hand around the doorknob
Anxious for what the future holds.
But my friends and family are standing outside encouraging me
But more importantly, 
I have finally accepted myself and my true passions
I am Marah and this is my coffee shop
Built from sweat, love, hard work
I twist the doorknob
And let the future in.

Process

Part two to a funny yet comforting story about a new adult dealing with her fear of failure as she finds new passions, steps out of her comfort-zone, and finally learns to put herself first.

Razan Zantout and her mentor Andrea Beatriz Arango worked together to write a funny yet comforting short piece that young and new adults can relate to. This story is inspired by the many conversations Andrea and Razan had over careers, futures, fears of choosing the wrong path, and major unexpected life changes. They wrote this story to hopefully touch the hearts of readers struggling with the same issues that their main character, Marah, is dealing with. Razan and Andrea’s goal was to write a funny and lighthearted story that carries meaning and influence.