By Lyric Southard

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After a heated argument, two best friends lose contact. After seven years, one of them sends the other a letter for her birthday.

3/28/2021

Dear Tammy, 

By the time this letter reaches you it’ll be your 27th birthday, an important day.

The last time we spoke was 7 years ago. I think we both remember how our last conversation ended. Can you believe how much history we lost in such little time? How did we go from best friends to strangers within a conversation? It was difficult to walk past you and act as if you weren’t the only person I fully trusted. 

I’ve been reflecting on our friendship lately. You’ve blocked me on everything so I was never able to talk to you. Do you remember Melissa Bell from high school? She was the one that gave me your address. I didn’t know you were friends with her. I thought you hated her. . . 

I want you to know that this is the only letter you will ever receive from me. You don’t have to worry about me showing up again. If you write back, I’ll throw the letter out. I know you don’t ever want to talk to me again. Likewise.

Anyways, change is inevitable. Do you remember Clarissa, my best friend before you? When I stopped being friends with her, I cried because I didn’t understand what happened. We never fought or argued or hurt each other. After Clarissa and I stopped being friends, I listed the things that made us different. I wondered about the things we both enjoyed that eventually changed. We both liked One Direction, but as we got older she continued to like One Direction and I stopped. We both liked the Ivy and Bean book series, but as we got older I got into the Harry Potter series and she got into the Percy Jackson series. I wanted to think about what changed between you and I. When we stopped being friends, I blamed it on change because I didn’t want to confront the truth. But it was never change that broke us apart. It was you. 

You said Clarissa would be one of the thousands of people that’ll come and go in my life. Clarissa was the first person to leave me and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. However, not everyone will come and go. One day I will make friends with people who will be in my life forever. They’ll be with me through everything. And when those people come, I will never let them go. . .

I thought you were different from Clarissa. I loved you in a way I never loved Clarrisa. I loved you like you were my sister and it pains me to think about you. Just the mention of your name hurts. 

Do you remember how we first became best friends? It was in middle school when we were young and stupid. We were still developing into our personalities. We were too young and immature to understand human development, so I didn’t notice the differences in our personalities yet. When we did get older, however, and began coming into our own–the people we are today, only then, was I able to notice our differences. I didn’t want to lose you like how I lost Clarissa, so I ignored it. For the entirety of our friendship, I let you put me down so you could feel good about yourself. I listened to all your problems, listened to all the people you talked badly about, offered you a shoulder to cry on when someone broke your heart, and helped you. Where were you when I needed help? You were too busy trying to prove that you were better than me. That you were prettier, smarter, and funnier. I let you hurt me because I loved you, and you didn’t love me. 

You broke us apart. When our friendship ended, I stood up for myself. You called me a bitch and a loser who would never have a friend like you again. You said all this because you knew I was right. You insulted me because I was right. That’s how I knew I won. You are a selfish, prejudiced, and judgemental person. You are a monster. You don’t deserve to be happy. 

I came across a picture of you on Facebook. You were hanging out with Taylor, Jasmine, and Lisa–the three people you claimed you hated more than anything in this world. You’re friends with them because you’ll never find real friends. You’ll always end up surrounded by the people who are just like you–people who will never find someone that will treat them with respect. 

I’m writing this to you on your birthday because I want it to hurt. I want to hurt you the way you hurt me for the past fifteen years. The pain you feel from this letter is nothing compared to my pain. . .that’s if you feel pain at all. I was blinded by anger and I couldn’t express everything I wanted to tell you that day. I’m telling you now for closure.

You are the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. 

Sincerely, 

Anna

Process

This letter isn’t based on a specific personal experience, but I know a lot of people who have been in my life that treated me badly. Funny enough, I was inspired by the movie Mean Girls. Of course, I thought about the bigger idea which is that when we surround ourselves with people who don’t respect us, we then lose respect for ourselves. I know that there are many girls who live like the writer of this letter. This is a message to not associate with people you know don’t respect you. It’s much better to have no friends than friends that stab your back.