I Find Myself in Blue Envy

By Veronika Marquez

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This poem is about how I, as I teenager, express myself through my hair.

I define me.
Hair in fist, snapped at ends
soon to have another life 
razored into layers.
Side-swept.
Pixie cut.
Cowlick.

I shed each version of myself
I color them to match me –
I find myself in blue envy,
chocolate brown, blonde, highlights

My girlfriends’ hands
through my hair,
impossible softness
its shattered ends
against my pillowcase
Soft roots, rough edges

Ice breaker. Mood-changer.
Autumn leaves falling into winter.
Each strand, an hour hand
twisting around my finger.
These locks, my endless canvas.