Little Lamb

By Lilly Sabella

“Little Lamb” is about giving up.

My loved books got covered
on the ashes of
what I smoked
soul mutilated
spirit alone
the parts of me I like burned away
into fields of gloom and cold
across my body
until I erupted past the floor
sunk down in the earth
and pressed my heart below.
This was the decay
an unpretty decomposition
of my wits and will
I stayed here in my bedroom
where I thought I had died
well I was so lonely
I could have
I realized
there’s less pressure when you try to stop being so good
you wouldn’t understand something
so simple
and how it comes with a tiredness
that’s like the sawing of a bone
pieces of you are shaved off
and all that remains is
hard
womanhood
the bone cutter
my family
the butchers
a girl trapped in a lamb’s body
all animal meat
ripened for ruin

Process

I combined some short poems I had scribbled into my journal and tweaked them on a Google Doc to make this poem.