By Jana Elsayed

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Most people know their boundaries when it comes to love. I’m still trying to figure out mine.

What would you do for love? That seems to be a loaded question. I’ve always been the type that would do anything for love. Or so I liked to think I would but in reality, maybe I never had the chance to do so. Maybe I have never actually been in love, even though it might have felt like it at the moment. Maybe it was some time of semblance of puppy love, even though that term seems to belittle my own feelings I’ve had in previous relationships. Or maybe it was all just hormones — the intense feeling of oxytocin that rushed into my body — whenever I was around this specific person. 

But now that question stares me in the face. As I am completely enveloped in the rush of oxytocin, puppy love, or whatever this thing may be, I have to question what I would do to hold onto this. Or rather, what do normal healthy people do in a situation like this? 

So, what would you do for love? Would you kill for love? Would you be the devil’s mistress? Would you be with someone who has proven to you multiple times they have the potential to hurt you? Would you stand on the edge for love? Would you cheat for love? Would you say “screw you” to your morals for love? To be with the person you wanted before they showed you how bad they can get. 

I don’t know what I’d do for love when I find the person that I believe I’m supposed to be in this world. When I find someone that matches me so well, whose company I can never get enough of. Someone that makes me feel good and understands me. When I find someone I can’t get enough of and I can’t let go. Would I neglect all those promises I made to my young self years ago? Never betray yourself for someone else. To never hurt others for your happiness. Never lose a piece of yourself for anyone. 

How bad can this love be if it makes me feel so good? Would you sell your soul for love? Would you bury another body for love? What love is worth all the pain when there can be another to come? But what if this is the great love that everyone talks about? What if it’s finally come for me and I’ll never find anything like it again? 

What would I do for love?

Process

Originally, this was meant to be a journaling piece, a conversation with myself trying to find out what I should do in a situation. My thoughts flowed naturally, and I was having an internal battle of whether I should stick to my values and morals, or sacrifice those beliefs for a potential love. The question is still left open in the end, as I still grow and ask this question in future loves that walk into my life.