maybe you know

By Gabi Palermo

My piece is about meeting my half brother who does not know that I exist. I created this piece after writing my college essay about the other half of my family that I know nothing about.

Maybe you know about me, maybe you don’t 
Have you ever wondered about me?
What I look like,
What I care about
How I’m doing?
Standing in the back of this dark venue,
Watching you perform
I don’t know how to feel about you I hate that I know about you.
Knowing about you just hurts me even more
It hurts me to see that you’re actually talented
If you were a loser maybe I wouldn’t have this desire to meet you
On stage, you’re rapping about all of the pain you have gone through
Maybe we can find comfort in each other’s traumas.
Lights reflect off of my eyes and all I can see is you
You look so much like your dad
I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing
I can tell so badly that you want to be a musician
I can tell that you hate your job just by how much passion you have on stage 
The concert ends and I’m left in the dark
What do I do now?
What’s the point of going up to you?
How will you react?
This isn’t good for my anxiety
I’m just making things worse
My palms, sweaty and shaky
I go up to you to congratulate you on your performance
In the back of my mind all I’m thinking is,
Why are you lying?
You’ve been erased for so long and it’s not fair to do this to yourself anymore. 
He deserves to know who you are
 
Without even thinking I just blurt out
I’m your sister.