medallic weight
a poem revealing the hidden realities and anguished cries of eye bags.
my eye bags are trophies i carry everywhere a display to the world look how hard i work look how strong i’ve been look how much better i am but really they weigh me down pulling me underground until only my arms can be seen flailing for help from the dirt of nature and humankind they are my poems my troubles my cares my worries their darkness and their depth bearing the weight of the words i just can’t say aloud these medals that hang from my eyes are awards nonetheless they don’t grant me the acceptance i desperately chase but they grant me a voice my throat can’t produce they scream for me that look this girl is doing something is doing enough is doing too much my eye bags are my vocal chords and it seems as though the darker my burdens etch them the louder i get to be
Process
Mental illness has ruled a large chunk of my life, but time never makes it easier to talk about. If anything, it serves as a silencer that grows more powerful by the day. It’s incredibly difficult to deal with, and I wish it were easier. But the one thing I can count on to relay my feelings for me when I can’t are my eye bags. One sees someone’s eye bags and wonders if they’re getting enough sleep. If they’re stressed. If something’s keeping them up at night. If something’s keeping them asleep longer than they should be. My eye bags are a result of my hidden hardships, but they at least give me the chance for others to finally see them too.
Sanya Afsar
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Sanya Afsar
Sanya Afsar is a Pakistani high school senior in NYC. She grew up in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, until the age of seven and now lives in the culturally rich Woodside neighborhood of Queens, NY. She is a multidisciplinary artist interested in fashion, photography and baking. Her literary taste skews toward dystopian fiction, romance and poetry novels. Sanya uses her time with Girls Write Now to explore different genres, narrowing her focus on college and career plans, to find her voice as a writer. She is particularly passionate about poetry, journaling and memoir.
