Sex Is Her Identity

By Daniela Ramos

Discussed: sexual content

Sex is Her Identity Invoice — Illustration by Daniela Ramos

This graphic design accompanies a poetic performance about sexual identity and traditional expectations of young women.

Sex is her name, it is her personality and it is who she is
Your confidant, the person you are supposed to tell everything to, judges her for it
Hoes don’t have friends, an education, get good grades and won’t get anywhere
Hoes are not on their phones scrolling through social media or looking something up
They are almost always talking to another man
“You’re just always there lying on the bed with your legs spread wide... waiting.”
When the hoe of the house cries herself to sleep, she is exaggerating
Inside her house she always feels the pit of her stomach empty and a hole at the top of her heart that no amount of food can fill.
Words like “I never said it like that” or “I am a bad mother” diminish, dismisses and manipulates the hoe of the house to change her feelings.
No you are not a bad mom, it’s ok.
Forgiveness is pointless to those who never gave a fuck in the first place, isn’t it?
No one has to tell her twice that she will be successful, she knows that she will go on to graduate school, she knows she will be happy… one day.
It could be the best of days, school went great, her programs went great, her college interviews went spectacular!
She got a little closer to her dreams, but for now at the end of the day, she comes home and all she is, is a hoe.

Process

Women are constantly being objectified despite the fact that they are successful and hardworking people. In society now, people use the words like hoe, slut or whore loosely when really it is a derogatory word towards women. In most cases, women are seen as hoes even if they have only had sex once. However, when it comes to males, they are encouraged to have sex with as many girls as they can and they are not judged for it. My piece introduces a new shift of perspective. The main character, whose name is unknown, knows deep down of her own successes and accomplishments but at the end of the day is only judged by her body count of one. Purposely my piece opens up a possibility to the audience that as a result of judgement, there are many people who fight their own battles and wars by themselves because they have no one to rely on. This is one of the possible reasons why women are so strong because they always find a way out of difficult situations.

Meet the Pair

MENTEE DANIELA RAMOS & MENTOR JULIA CARPENTER

Daniela’s Anecdote: Julia has taught me so much about how to find inspiration when it comes to trying to write a piece, and about the best coffee shops in New York City! I am eternally grateful to her in that she understands my weird passions and helps me think of ways to turn them into actual pieces I can be proud of.

Julia’s Anecdote: When Daniela and I first met, she and I immediately bonded over family stories and our love of books and documentaries. We get together to drink coffees and hot chocolates and brainstorm new ideas for stories and poems. I am always so impressed with Daniela’s energy and her ability to write in multiple formats and styles. I can’t wait to read her work years into the future to see how it evolves and grows!