By Renisha Conner

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I never realized that my dream of becoming a princess as already been fulfilled long before I was born.

Every little girl has a dream of becoming a princess.
Out of the 12 of them, I've experienced being 6.

I used to be Snow White.
'Cause in Genesis, through Eve, I was tricked into eating that
poison fruit and became a slave to my flesh.
Living a life of destruction but my true love came to kiss me with salvation 
Raising me from the dead into freedom 
Seating me right beside Him.

Before my Prince Charming, I was Ariel,
Wishing I could be a part of a world that actually had nothing for me–
nothing I needed.
I wanted to be part of something that accepted me, valued me, and gave me worth. 
Until I realized that searching for wholeness in a broken world would leave me empty,
So I ran to the One who was already pursuing me.
The One who accepted me, valued me, and revealed my worth.

I no longer want to be Cinderella.
Mistreated by the evil stepmother of sin,
tormented by the stepsisters of condemnation and shame. 
I want to go to the ball, where I dance the night away 
with my King 
and rather than leaving my heart on those steps when that clock strikes 12,
I want to reveal to Him, 
The rags that are hidden within

Oh wait, let me be real,
I may or may not have actually ran away.
The magic of that cover-up made my vision blurry and 
Left me in delusion 
Like “yeah everything's cool, Everything's fine”
Leaving me stuck with a false conclusion.

I was scared 
Scared to show the rags of what was truly beneath 
The gold that did not glitter.
But He knew where to find me.
He picked up my heart and replaced it with a better one. 

When I showed Him my rags, He gave me riches.
When I showed Him my brokenness, He gave me wholeness.
When I questioned my existence, He comforted me, 
When Jeremiah 1-5 with 29 and 11 sang hymns to me. 

He didn't leave me the way He found me.
And even in this journey He never does.
Cause I'm on a road to perfection 
He gave me redirection 
Not yet my final destination 
But I am his beautiful creation
Here to proclaim to the nations 
The goodness of who He is 

Now I'm like Tiana, who's almost there in transforming 
into the woman my Father and King has called me to be.
Trying to open the restaurant of my heart to feast on 
the Truth so I can serve the people around me 
in love.

He called me by name.
He took my heart made of ice when I channeled my 
inner Elsa cause the cold never bothered me 
as I got used to having a wall up anyway.
And yet, only my King was able to defrost the layers of my heart with His Love.
 
I resisted it at some point in time.
But I can't deny, I want to be Merida.
Brave enough to stand up for what I know is right.
Fierce enough to completely step into my calling.
Rebel enough to be different in a world that tries its best to conform me. I won't do it.

Who would have thought I would have been married before 21?
Divorced from the enemy, I am bound no longer.
Married to Jesus, I will only get stronger. 
‘cause Greater is He that lives in me
I am no longer subject to who I used to be.
He is Holy and Righteous and His blood made a way
For his grace and mercy to enter
And it's here to stay.

So yes, I was made a princess.
By the precious blood of the Lamb.
He came down from on High 
It was His great plan.
To save me from my sins.
To wipe my slate clean,
To give me a new name
I am married to the King.

That dream of becoming a princess as a little girl? 
I'm so glad that I know it's true. 
Cause now I'm the daughter of the Almighty King 
No longer satisfied with a world I outgrew

Thank you, Jesus

Process

Many of my past works of poetry have been done for class. That isn’t to say I haven’t put my all into those assignments, because I have. However, this poem is truly special to me. I wrote this piece at a time when I really started taking poetry seriously. By seriously, I mean, making it my own–no prompt, no grade, simply, what I wanted to write about. Everything mentioned in this piece came about through help from the Holy Spirit. My faith inspires many of my pieces and this one really hits home for me because it is my story. I wrote this piece solely for myself and then decided to share it after pondering on it. It’s the one piece I didn’t care about how anyone else would think of it but rather, I put my truth on paper. I wrote this poem about being a princess because–as spoken of through the metaphors–I’ve come to understand that I have been a portion of these Disney princesses in one way or another throughout my life so far. I found it so fascinating that I could relate to the themes and emotions that those characters portrayed in their respective movies. I found myself relating way more than I cared to but nonetheless, I spoke on it.