To Future Fariya

By Fariya Kabir

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I imagined what I would like to say to myself 15 years in the future.

Dear 31-year-old, adult Fariya,   

Exciting! 15 years will have passed by the time you’re reading my letter. I mean, do I ask how are you? Kind of sounds weird to ask that question to yourself. But since we are at two different phases of our lives, things might have changed and you might have evolved as a brand new person. So I’ll ask: How are you, adult Fariya? Have things changed? What did you finally become? Doctor or lecturer? Or did you continue teaching part time after being a doctor? Well, did you get married? To whom? Is it Nahean? It better be. Right now, he feels like the only guy I could ever spend my life with and hopefully it’s the same when you read this. 

You must be settled with your life now. Finished your studies, found a job, had a family and stuff. So how does it feel to be an adult? Mature or overwhelming? Independent or tiring? And are you still in touch with all your friends? How is your schedule now? Is life still so busy? I hope you’re less busy now, have time to breathe and have found a good balance. You never liked to lose balance as a teenager. 

Do you still play with dolls? That’s a stupid question, I guess. Well, now that I think of it, do you still question as much as you used to? Is spicy ramen still your favorite? How is your appendix problem? Did it get better? And do you still avoid sweets? Do you still love balloons and candles? How is the tree you had? And how are Ador and Ayra? You should still have them! They were your favorite dolls of all! 

Do you still enjoy writing and dancing or do you not have the time anymore? Has your favorite flower changed or is it still the same weird one? They don’t have it here in the U.S., but I always like seeing a picture of it. I ask Nahean to pluck some for me, even if he can’t give them to me.  

Are you a little better with fashion and make-up now or do you still suck at it? Are you disciplined with your eating and sleeping schedule? And do you still suck at expressing your emotions? Do you still get anxiety problems? That doctor said that you would overcome them as you age. Is that any better now? Well, I hope so. Hopefully you make the effort to pick out your outfits now and go to sleep on time. Hopefully you have learned to talk about your problems and ask for help. I expect to see a better Fariya now! 

Did you complete all the promises you made to me (yourself when you were 16)? Have you changed or are you still the same weirdo that I am? Are you grateful for success or is there some part of you wishing of being that 16-year-old little girl again? 

Love, 

Teenage Fariya

Process

My mentor and I worked first by writing letters together, then I edited this piece and recorded a video.