Why I love you

By Victory Ogunnaya

This piece is all about love and how it blinds us. It’s a beautiful thing that we all experience in our own way. This is just a window into another love story that will warm your heart.

You asked me once, what a kiss was like, and I was confused.

This was after your fifth girlfriend and my second boyfriend. I honestly thought you were insane.

I wasn’t trying to shame you, I just thought it was interesting. You, the experienced one, had never been kissed before.

And I said, “I don’t know.” 

Honest to God, swear on my dead mother, I had never been kissed before. And then you thought I was crazy. Honestly, I wanted to kill you for doubting me but it was a beautiful day and the sun was out, the trees in the park were just big enough that the shadows covered your face and your eyes glistened, so that your smile was so big I thought you were gonna leap out of your body so I let it slide.

I wasn’t surprised that we hooked up after prom. We both agreed we’d never talk about it again, but I could never get rid of that feeling that something was growing between us. We graduated, I was valedictorian, you screamed your ass off when I was on stage and I almost yelled at you to shut up. But I was so excited and fucking nervous and it was nice that day, the lights in the auditorium were big and flashy and the smile on your face was so big I thought you were gonna leap out of your seat so I let it slide.

I remember you talking to me about your parents and how they could’ve made it so big if they followed their dreams but their parents didn’t let them. So you promised me and yourself that you would never let that happen to you. “I gotta follow my dreams,” you said, cradling my face in your arms in that nice way, so that your hand was stroking my cheek. I said something about supporting you and you joked about how great it would be if we were together. I thought it was dumb but the night was cool and warm, and the smile on your face was so big I thought you were gonna leap out of your body so I let it slide.

You told me you loved me yesterday. I said I just wanted to be friends and you knew I was lying. You knew. There was no way we could be just friends. You wanted to call me out on my bullshit but you didn’t. You were so upset and I couldn’t stand it. I turned away from you and you said you were gonna be leaving for a while. I asked when you were gonna be back. You said you didn’t know. I said okay. You said we’d stay friends then and you left. I’m writing this now as I realize how much I need you. You know that just as well as I do, and I hope you can forgive me. And even if you can’t, I’ll understand. I love you. 

Process

I pretty much tried to put myself in the shoes of someone who had love and feeling for someone that feels the same way, but not noticing that feeling for a while. It’s important that we realize that platonic relationships can be just as strong as romantic relationships, but the bond that these relationships can give you inseparable. Most people have felt love before, and even fewer have fallen in love with their best friends, so I tried to put myself in the perspective of someone who was. From there, the words flowed, and it was easy for me to make my story from there.