By Shannon Rowe

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My own experiences in school when I first came to America, a time I felt not welcomed.

I was a black girl from a land far away,
moving to America, a land to begin a new.
Maybe with a little nerves starting a new school,
but never believing or no previous experiences, 
to think it could be so cruel.
The reality of middle school of seeing new races was not it at all, 
bringing my nerves to standing on top of a cold mountain.
It was the bullying that made me wonder was I needed here.
They bullied me for my nose shape.
They said it was flat.
They said it was big.
They laughed and pointed.
They made me want to hide.
On and on again, it happened, not knowing what to do.
Till one day, walking home crying from a hard day,
meeting my mom halfway with concern in her eyes and words
I had to reveal the cruel truth.
She showed me what a momma bear was supposed to be like 
the next day, walking into my classroom and confronting my teacher.
She told my experience from her own mouth. 
The next day, I saw a woman from the same faraway land 
confronting her classroom, speaking on how her class should operate.
The words dimmed down.
The laughing and pointing dimmed down.
It may not have been physical, but the words live on longer.
The insecurities of appearance were etched into my brain,
but some growth appeared to walk away and not listen.
High school came, and it appeared again. 
But with a smile and walking away, knowing my nose will be there forever
I had to know that those words hurt, but I needed to walk away.
Insecurities linger even in adulthood. The awareness of them 
in how I dress to how I keep my head down, or even how I wonder 
if the person in front of me is wondering about that thing I use to breath.

Process

I began to write this poem after rewatching a YouTube video by Stephanie Soo (from one of her channels called Rotten Mango) titled “2006 Cheongju Curling Iron Case – Real Story Behind “The Glory”. “The Glory” is a South Korean drama about bullying, filled with many sad moments. As I listened to Stephanie disclose the truth behind the drama it caused me to remember the moments of bullying, I had. Even though it was not physical or to the extent as shown in the drama, I was still hurt by them. Till today I still have some insecurities left over due to the teasing I went through but I have also learned to somewhat know I cannot change my appearance and won’t.