What the Mirror Told Me or My Conversation With A Mirror

By Doha Ahmed & Cynthia Amoah

Discussed: mental health and brief suicidal ideation

This poem is a reminder to love ourselves and our bodies no matter what the mirror tells us.

Eyelashes and hair down my back
Stylish clothes and shoes to match
I stare at my rounded eyes, as they live in their pockets

They tell the truth of my heart, they show I’m honest
Every day I wake up and see someone new
Who will I get to be today,
Someone pretty or someone used
And all pretty is, is a picture of perfection

Society tells us different, but it’s all misdirection
The mirror stares back and depending on its mood
It tells me whatever I see is the truth
Truth is, sometimes, it feels like I’m not here

Does all this mirror want to do is make me disappear?
Today it said, I was the reason no one can love me
It told me maybe fixing my nose would be worth the fee
I turned and turned and it made faces at my curves

Followed by a weighted sigh as it observed
It told me I would never be that pretty
Never like the girls in the big cities
And then I folded into myself
Followed by a weighted sigh as it observed
It told me I would never be that pretty
Never like the girls in the big cities
And then I folded into myself

The mirror only sees the worst parts of me and nothing else
It went on and on and wouldn’t stop
Said everyone who’s left me, had left me to rot
But then I thought, forget everyone who’s gone

They just made more room for me to move on
The mirror wouldn’t stop
Said maybe I should tie a rope to the ceiling
Then around my neck in a little knot
I fought and fought, against the mirror’s dark lies

I chose to believe in my reasons to rise
It tells me no need to fear stay awhile
But first make sure to fix your ugly smile
But there’s nothing wrong with my smile, even if it’s crooked

I’m sure somewhere, someone in the world will love it
And no matter how hard I fought the mirror told me all its thoughts
No matter how fast I ran I would always get caught
And everyday is a reminder to love me more
I’m sure somewhere, someone in the world will love it
And no matter how hard I fought the mirror told me all its thoughts
No matter how fast I ran I would always get caught
And everyday is a reminder to love me more

Yes the bad days will come, but I swore
The mirror wouldn’t win anymore
Perhaps it will be kinder to me one day
Or my complexion and mood will always look a little grey
For now, I’ll choose to focus on the color of the sun

My life isn’t over, it’s just begun.

Process

Inspired by our internal dialogues and the conversations we have with ourselves, Doha sparked the initial vision for this piece. After hearing the portion of this poem Doha wrote, Cynthia was motivated to write an accompanying section to “mirror” Doha’s words. Together, they both want this poem to mimic a conversation between the mirror and ourselves, but to also represent two writers who, in dialogue, challenge societal notions of beauty.