Yellow Roses
By Shadiya Beckett
The perfect relationship is a facade. Always. Even when you think you know exactly how the other person is feeling, there is always a secret. Sometimes, that secret is pain.
They’re like red hearts and yellow roses Hand her a yellow rose make her cheeks glow red You know she feels it in her heart but she’s all in her head You picked her up and made her whole just to break her again Bro what’s the point leave her alone she was better back then Yellow roses come back Look how you killed it, it’s dead Ain’t no coming back from that She likes the marigold cuz she’s never good enough She wants to find real gold she doesn’t see it in herself I guess the mirror does talk she hears everything that hurts All her insecurities just glaring back at her They’re mocking her Boohoo, I’m right here She wants to wake up high, not like that, just floating In a world that isn’t real but it is cuz she owns it Where everything goes in her favor Because boy oh boy, she can NOT handle another heartbreaker They say it all the time You can run but you can’t hide She will fall but she will rise She’s ready to say goodbye
Sneaky, you attack when she least expects it You eat her alive but she always comes back cuz She loves you most when she’s hit rock bottom Could you imagine the pain that she feels Only one love could ever heal But that’s the one that breaks her the most Guess red hearts and yellow roses make her feel at home She doesn’t get him either She doesn’t know how he feels when he just wants to leave her He wants to breathe but pillow talk feels just like Othello He yearns for freedom but holding hands he just can’t let her go He’s held prisoner by his dreams He wants to love but his nightmares are real They’re the shadows that follow him even at night They’re the skeletons he desperately tries to hide Could you imagine the pain that he feels Only one love could ever heal But that’s the one that breaks him the most Guess red hearts and yellow roses make him feel at home
Process
I was listening to “Yellow Roses” by Dolly Parton, and it just dawned on me. True love is unpredictable. True love is unexpected. True love is beautiful. But true love is painful. I needed to express that. I realized that the most toxic relationships are never true love. They are a combination of fear or rejection, and addiction. I needed to express that. I realized that nothing hurts more than losing somebody you wanted to be in your life forever. I needed to express that. I realized that the real reason I don’t believe in marriage is I will never want till death do us part. I want till not even death can do us part. I needed to express that. I lay on my bed, next to my phone, with the song still blaring in my headphones. Every lyric sparked new thoughts. I picked up my phone and began writing. I realized heartbreak makes for a great poem.
Shadiya Beckett
Shadiya Beckett is a 10th-grade student. They have a profound love for writing spoken word poetry, as well as mystery stories. They also write songs and have performed in front of various audiences, including at the Jamaica Performing Arts Center and Maimonides Hospital. Aside from composing, Shadiya is obsessed with making floor plans and interior designing and has played almost every popular sport. While they currently have no published work, they hope to have their debut book, titled Red Brick, published within the next year.
