Dreams, Hopes, Forward, Forward
By Anaee Mero
I want to dedicate this piece to the person I am becoming. The way forward for me feels inspiring and optimistic!
You’ll be okay.
You won’t believe me now, but you’ll come to understand one day. You’re still growing up after all.
I know right now you’re feeling very lonely and scared. I know that right now you don’t feel like you have anyone to turn to—not your family, and not your current friends. It should not have been that way for you. You were so vulnerable and naive and still learning left from right. Like every other kid, you had to go to school, but you carried extra weight on your back. Things were way difficult for you, in and out of school. You shouldn’t have stayed up all night because you didn’t know how to catch up with your thoughts. Thoughts that were running a mile a minute. You didn’t have to depend on your parents’ relationship to be happy. But you did, because that’s all you knew how to do. You should’ve spent your days being a kid, not this. Yet despite all of it, you stood your ground. I’m proud of you for that.
But life moves forward and so will you. In the next couple of years, you come to learn how to stay strong in situations that would have knocked others down with one blow. You acknowledge that you’re not perfect and you give yourself time to improve. You don’t give up so easily anymore and you learn to appreciate life no matter how shitty it gets sometimes. You no longer see black when you imagine your future. Rather, you smile brightly at the thought of it and assure yourself that, no matter what, you’ll be the person you see in your mind because that’s what will make you happy.
Not only that, but you meet the most important people! You come across a group of folks who shelter you from the bad days and motivate you to do better on the good ones. You meet friends who listen to you and your troubles and tell you that you’re a good person when your silly brain tries to convince you that you are not. You meet someone very like you and you are so happy about it that it’s really all you ever talk about on some days, but deep down we understand why this person is special. You will no longer wander alone on earth because you have so many people to lean on and you have a mindset and a will that shields you from thoughts that might lead you down a dark path. You look for ways to avoid that dark place, but I’d be a liar if I did not confess that occasionally you do go back there. No matter though, you always end up back home.
The best thing is that there’s more to come! More good days, more time to work on yourself. More time to plan a trip to California and maybe meet your bestest friend in the world. More time to plan your outfit for the next concert, more time to plan the layout of your own apartment.
More time to do So Much More. Unfortunately, you also have a lot of school days left, but there’s not much we can do about that one. Although that doesn’t seem fun, in the end, all of this just means more days to learn and to love and to feel with every part of yourself.
You will get fucked over many, many times—everyone does—but I have faith you’ll be okay because you always are. And besides, I know you’re beyond ready to go out and kick life’s ass.
Anaee Mero is a class of 2020 Girls Write Now mentee based in New York, NY.