I Wish Love Was Simple
By Margareta Stern
These poems are inspired by my experiences with love. Through writing these pieces I was able to express myself and get closure from the past, which has made me the person that I am today.
“Exposed to a universe of unimaginable emptiness” Why can’t you just trust what we have? because i couldn’t give that love to you. Bring me back to a time where my brain wasn’t hungry no more because i need energy energy i need energy before i turn zombie. My identity was crushed because i was in pain and i knew my heart had shattered because when i try so hard i turn zombie. And because you loved her i could not hold onto my sanity no longer so i fall to my emptiness my unimaginable emptiness. which formed through experiences turned my life to an obstacle course. Exposure to when i couldn’t find love in anything or anyone and closure to when i sought out the reasons why. Exposed to the universe. Vulnerable to criticism. to criticize and compare ourselves to others. The drug of desire. The addiction for human desire. Exposed to the universe that is constantly expanding and when the dark side is lost in our nature the closure is unimaginable. “Long gone from a memory” Why do you have to be the way that you are? I must resist my temptations of pure anger and lust so that you don’t become long gone from my memory because when you were gone my heart yearned for that affectionate love which was our love a crossroad type of love formed through our internal struggles and even though we witness the stop signs we choose to ignore them. We excellerate on the highway of passion and oh baby our love is in flames save me before i’m long gone. I love you. Tell me I’ll be ok. I’m sorry that I crashed but do you still love me? I’ll be ok. Because my insecurities they are on me and the voices in my head they are inside me. I’m scared of feeling not good enough memories in the past have have shown me what it’s like to feel long gone long gone long gone. So i’m sorry that I crashed I just needed a way out. “I wish someone had” And I’m reaching the limit you’ve got me floating on love and I wish someone had warned me about how much it hurts to fall in love with someone who isn’t in love with you. I wish someone had warned me that the freshman boy would only break my heart and that the mysterious stranger from the corner of the room would kiss me in the basement closet and only break my heart. Oh and the girl that showed interest in me well somebody could’ve warned me that I’d only break her heart too. My curiosity when I look at you and know you’re not the one and I wish someone had told me that life goes on even when you don’t want it to. Do you remember how you made me feel? I had grown numb to the way you treated me because i wanted so much even when you continued to ignore me and put me down because you were taken by a memory of love that took your life away. You’re not the one. because drifting to the arms of the deceased cuts my soul so deep so please when you open your eyes can you see that I’m not the one? as you’re not the one for me. “Why can’t you love me?” Why can’t you love me like you loved her? because I’m not her and I'm sorry. I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t just a rebound to you but everybody is someone’s rebound at some point and our paths just happened to cross one another. Why can’t you love me like you loved her? because you lie to yourself while I’m left to piece together the truth but you don’t notice me doing so because you only notice her and she’s a dead girl so it must be my fault. I'm not good enough. Why can’t you love me like you loved her? because I’m not her and I'm sorry. but before I leave I need to tell you my truth which is that it just really hurts to know that i’ll never be the one for you because when I look at you i want to hold you in my arms so that you don’t leave me but I didn’t want to accept that you were never mine because you were already gone.
Margareta Stern is a class of 2020 Girls Write Now mentee based in New York, NY.