By Marzia Afrin Seemat
A broken Princess discovers a power that she held in herself from the beginning … But most importantly: Who Is This Princess?
Once upon a time, there was a princess, with long dark hair, wide eyes, and a bright smile with a dimple on her left cheek. Unlike any other princess, she didn’t have an Empire, nor a ton of soldiers, or a prince. All she had was an innocent heart filled with pain. Her misty-eyed tears used to soak her pillow every night as she glared at the stars, quietly, from her small window.
All she wanted was for someone to listen to her; to understand her; to support her; to wipe her tears; to hug her tight; to not judge her like the rest of the world; simply for someone to love her. But all she had were inner demons, constantly fighting with her little heart, as it cried out silently inside.
This princess was unique. She was fake to the world, but real to herself; fake to the sun but real to the stars. She used to put fake smiles on around others, pretending to be the happiest soul alive. But only she knew about the deep scars each of her smiles left in her heart. She often found herself standing before the mirror, observing her crystal-clear reflection, where she always stood with a broken heart, a tired soul, and a shut mouth, along with her hollow eyes, which kept dropping blobs of tears. Maybe those tears were the only possible way for her heart to express its pain with her soul. Maybe her soul was looking for the real princess through her eyes, who got lost long ago trying to fit in among the worldly creatures. Or maybe her soul decided to be the one listening to her unspoken pain.
Every morning she wiped away her tears, trying to be wise, to be strong, to hold back her broken-heartedness. But no matter how much she tried, tears always managed to find their way back to her eyes. If pain taught her anything, it was to control her emotions in front of others. Because she knew no one cared. She knew about the self-centered characteristics of humans. She knew about the jealousy her smiles produced. She knew that others wanted her ‘perfect’ life, which she only pretended to live.
At one point, she got tired … tired of pretending … tired of forcing … tired of presenting herself as a different person before her loved ones. It seemed like she became a complete stranger to the people she shared her life with. She wanted to change that. She wanted to reveal herself … her pains, her struggles, her insecurities; her true life… precisely, the Real Princess. But what could she do? None of them asked; they all got fooled by her forced smiles…
What else could she do other than faking those-smiles? Ignoring her confusing memories was difficult. Sometimes they left her with a feeling of beautiful warmth. But mostly, with ache and nostalgia.
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Those dark memories used to be her weaknesses until she learned to let them fuel her. She taught herself to wipe away her own tears because no one else would. Now she started to look into the mirror without a swollen face but with sparkling eyes. Now she admired the stars at night. After all, the stars were the only ones who had seen her every night, dragging herself to sleep. They were the only ones who saw her without her fake mask. They were the only ones who knew about her deep, dark pains, which she carried all day. They were the only ones with whom she could let her heart speak in its own language. After a long time, those shining luminaries up in the sky got to see this princess sleep without a puffy face or a drenched pillow.
It is often said, when the heart wrings with pain, hatred is the only thing that offers a hand. The same thing happened for her. Those pains crossed the limit of her tolerance. So hatred took the place instead. But this time, she didn’t hate herself. She didn’t blame herself like before. She didn’t force herself to wear a fake mask for others. She didn’t let herself run into the life-maze again. This new princess finally learned to liberate herself. She refused to let anyone or anything control her besides herself; not even a memory. She repelled everything that would cost her even one droplet of tears. She started to use her inner storms, which she held in herself for so long, as her weapon. A weapon that would let her sleep-in-peace again. A weapon that would bring her smile back. A weapon that would wipe away all her pain. A weapon that would bring back her innocent soul, but this time with a new version. A completely distinct version of herself who will not get betrayed again, will not get manipulated again, will not get lied to again. Someone who will not get bullied, neglected or threatened again; someone who will not feel abandoned, played or hurt again. Someone who will not waste her precious tears again; imply someone who will not allow the world to shatter her again.
I started writing this piece during the last days of 2021. I don’t exactly know what inspired me to write. I just found myself holding a pen, sitting in front of a piece of blank paper, which ultimately got filled with all of my inward sentiments. Maybe this is what we call the “words of the heart.” I remember myself digging deep into my heart, as if I was looking for a response to—or rather a validation of—all the ideas my mind had. Every word is directly from the emotions of my heart, which I think every individual feels.
This piece is to remind others that human life is supposed to be painful and filled with hardships. But it’s us who get to choose how to react and how to come back either weaker or stronger than before. I tried using figurative language, specifically imagery and personification, throughout the piece to express my abstract thoughts. I focused a lot on developing the character, so that readers would be able to connect with the character in order to feel the intentional emotions throughout the writing.
Marzia Seemat is a person who is passionate about writing and design. Her personal goal is to create creative designs and write creative writings- including intense stories. She loves to watch horror movies and loves to make watercolor paintings. Other than her interests, he is extremely passionate about the environment.—She loves rain with coffee.—Loves the smell of new books.