By Lauren Lee

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“Who” is a coded piece of poetry meant to document Lee’s struggles as she reconciles with different parts of her identity as a female Asian American and serves as an outlet for girls like her.

score = 0

is_american = True
is_asian = True
is_female = True

has_a_pipe_dream = True

#each function represents a positive or negative perception society may have of me based on my various identities

def is_model_minority():
    if (is_asian == True):
        return True
    else:
        return False
def is_virus():
    if (is_asian == True):
        return True
    else:
        return False

'''
While I've been told my whole life that my worth is measured by the number on my report card, I find that even if I am the "model minority", I can’t escape the racism that comes with the Chinese American experience.
'''

def american_dream():
    if (is_american == True):
        return True
    else:
        return False

'''
I used to chase the idea of "becoming American."
At four years old, I would look at myself in the mirror and wish that my hair was as light as my best friend in kindergarten and that my eyes were as blue as the girls I saw on Youtube.
I now realize that physical characteristics don't define whether or not I am American.
Rather an American is defined by a feeling of hopefulness for the future, a trait not predetermined by race. 
'''

def too_western():
    if (is_american == True):
        return True
    else:
        return False

'''
Accepting that I am also American despite my Chinese ethnicity means grappling with the often conflicting cultural values of both my western and eastern identities, and I’ve resolved to reject the strict construct of what it is to be “Asian” or “American”
I've begun to understand that culture is inherently dynamic. 
My unique immigrant culture is one that ebbs and flows between the East and West. 
This characteristic is something that I've learned to accept as a part of who I am.
'''

def proved_yourself():
    if (is_female == True):
        return True
    else:
        return False
def is_aggressive():
    if (is_female == True):
        return True
    else:
        return False

'''
My middle school math teacher once called me aggressive simply because I asked for extra practice problems. 
What this teacher did not understand was that in male-dominated fields, men only need to perform well to be successful, but women must constantly prove themselves to succeed. 
I've learned that in environments like computer science, I've had to overachieve and over-perform to demonstrate I am just as worthy as my male counterparts. 
And when I've done so, I am viewed as "too aggressive" in my performance.
So for many women - including myself - when we hear the word "aggressive" used to describe us, we simply understand that we have surpassed the expectations of our society.
''' 

def is_addict():
    if (has_a_pipe_dream == True):
        return True
    else:
        return False

'''
Addiction to dreaming is lamented in my history and culture.
     
Opium was a form of Western control in China, with the opium wars weakening China to allow for Western hegemony to thrive.
European power continued to grip over the Chinese in the United State through opium dens, which is where the word “pipe dream” originated from. 
Men, high on opium, would have hallucinations they often called "opium" or "pipe" dreams.
     
Now, a pipe dream is defined as an unattainable dream. 
For Asian American women like me, pipe dreams are a common occurrence. 
We are addicted to dreaming of achieving things that society deems unattainable merely because of our position in society.
'''

#Society likes to assign me values based on my identities
if is_model_minority() == True:
    score = score + 1
if is_virus() == True:
    score = score - 2
if american_dream() == True:
    score = score + 1
if too_western() == True:
    score = score - 2
if proved_yourself() == True:
    score = score + 1
if is_aggressive() == True:
    score = score - 2

if is_addict() == True:
    score = score + 3

if score != 0: #if the score is not equal to 0
    print("why are you selling yourself short?")
else:
    print("so you figured yourself out")


'''
Dreaming big is a very admirable thing, and it is also a characteristic that defines human beings. 
The common denominator that makes us all human despite our identities is our ability to dream.
         
While each element of my identity changes the way I am perceived in society, as long as I accept all three parts of my identity as my own, the isAddict() function brings the score to 0, a point of pure existence, not defined by an empirical number. 
         
The algorithm is designed in this way because I believe dreaming makes us all human, and humans should not be defined by a score. The 0 represents this idea.
         
However, as soon as I deny any of the three parts of my identity, the resulting score will not be zero.
This is representative of how I’ve internally quantified myself as less than others because of my identities rather than accepting them as simply who I am.

The output will call me out on it. 
'''


Output:

>> so you figured yourself out