Junior Year

By Kiera Canton

Who knew that the post-COVID quarantine world would be so challenging to live in? Well, we all suspected it, but living it is a whole different story… Welcome to my poetic brain dump.

Junior Year

So this year gets few cheers
but I only know what I fear
So I prepped myself for the worst
and yet the worst did not come first
First, came the fun that I so desperately missed
from seeing the people who made me feel bliss
But it did not last all year?
Soon to come were many tears
tears of joy and of sorrow
Just trying to make it ‘till tomorrow….

Dawn and Dusk

They compliment each other so well. A start and an end. They’re all you need really. Two simple beauties that capture several sets of eyes. No matter where you are, you’ll see these two. Usually not together, but they come in a sequence. I drop everything just to watch them spread across the sky. At this moment, I don’t wonder the how or the why, I just stand in awe and let out a deep, needed sigh.

Friendship
Noun
(fri-end-ship)

– looks may vary, how long it lasts may vary, who it is with may vary, but what it does to

you is forever, no matter what it looked like, how long it lasted, or whom it was with.

Gaia

She opens her heart, screaming, but they only go inside and wish her away

Yet they marvel and explore her scars that run deeper than canyons and wider than mountains

When she’s happier than ever, she doesn’t hide, she shows them her light which then fulfills their greatest activities

but she can’t participate so she sits back, and watches them closely, careful not to rain on their parade

but she can’t help it

So she does it again until she’s so tired, so numb, ‘till her tears are no longer, ‘till she’s burning up in flames and even then they try to put her out.

Even then she still waits and waits for them to care and realize that she has no spare

This.
is.
it.

What’s next?

I have one more year left until I am supposed to know what to do for the rest of my life. Or that is what is expected of me, no? Maybe. Maybe not. This is stressing me out… I’ll come back to it later…
I hope.
Will they remember me?
I hope.

Hood, but not the one that covers your head

Childhood
Adulthood
Parenthood
It’s home
Or a reality that you’ll grow into
Sooner or later

But my sweet childhood filled with the good, the bad, and the ugly is so close to being over, and my adulthood is about to begin? Scared of what that might look like because I am just a kid. Since I am just a kid I won’t have any of my own anytime soon. I am not complaining but society will soon… When I become of age and find a partner, the pressures will increase because it is my job, as a woman, to bear a child? But why would I want to bring a child into the world when the world has failed to take care of the child that is me? Our planet is dying, our politics are corrupt. Is there enough time before we self-destruct?

Cringe

I cringe when I stub my toe.
I cringe when I see someone else stub theirs.
I cringe when I see the action of my pet peeves.

I cringe when I see my insecurities in the mirror
I cringe when my intrusive thoughts get a little too loud
A prompt that lasted for a little too long…

Test

I don’t want to test for anything unless it’s covid right now.

I don’t want to sit in a room with my peers, taking an examination that tests our skills and not our knowledge.
I don’t want to check a box that says “not at all,” “several days,” “more than half the days,” or “nearly every day” even though I know it keeps me safe.
I don’t want my blood to be extracted to see if my hemoglobin levels are normal.
I don’t want to cover one eye and determine whether the letter is an “m” or a “w”
I don’t want to undergo another EEG that messes up my hair.
I don’t want them to test human products on animals before stacking them on shelves.
I don’t want my patience to be tested by someone who doesn’t follow the golden rule.

I don’t want to test for anything unless it’s covid right now.

That’s it.

What was once “did you hear?” is now “did you see?”
Clouded in a digital world, oh but I can’t be
I still get lost in the sea of growing up
How ever will I be able to understand the world of “knowing of”?
I’m tired of the FOMO that haunts me every day
Even when I know that I am OK
Stories are now clickable instead of tales that were meant to be spoken
Maybe my opinion is just an emotion?
I cannot say all this without sounding old
So I behold, one of my stressors and anxieties
Only to be told by my unease

Process

This piece became such a therapeutic experience for me to write. I gave up on trying to create something “perfect” and just let the ideas that popped up in my head flow. I structured it in a way that gave me ease to write and it reads like a hybrid between a journal entry and a poem. The GWN workshops have kept me engaged with my writing abilities while in the midst of the chaos that I was experiencing during the school year. So many prompts that I wanted to explore were stuck instead my head for so long until I spilled them out and onto this piece of work. Each section, gives just a small slither of what goes on in my head when I am alone with my thoughts.