By Jaya Rao-Herel
A trip into a mind, swirling with the chaos of regret and distraction of calm.
Regret is a steady tap on my mind A solid block of all things entwined Blinded as sun seeps beneath beds of flowers Blotting visions, staining walks; my shadow over every hour Regret is the steam that sticks to bathroom mirrors Diffuses off my tongue in a rapid sea of vapors Small swirls of dragonflies skim over the air Reflections dance in warm hushed lakes as foxes trot with care Regret is falling though pools of elation Jumping to passion that later falls to contemplation Outside a window; the soft patter of snow Steam drifts into air lit by the sun’s soft glow But I’m still brought back to regret: The constant thought of our secret journal Long since blacked out but forever eternal Sleepy stars hang in the glow of night A cool soft breeze wiping out light Heavy eyes shut under the warmth of thick quilts As the moon rises and the sun wilts Regret is what blooms into a field of release When its weight leaves your mind; met transient ease A hammock rocks with gentle sways A pendulum swings and carries the weight away But the vacant heavy still remains It’s the ray of regret that will never decay
My first draft of “Vacant Heavy” was a late night dump of my thoughts. It focused on the topic of regret and how it makes you physically and mentally feel. With my mentor Amanda’s help, I went in and added small snippets of the things that often distract us from negative emotions, playing with visuals and imagery that reflect tranquility in nature.
Jaya Rao-Herel, from Brooklyn NY, is a senior in high school. She is a writer and musician, blending her love of storytelling and music through songwriting and composition. Her work is driven by her biracial heritage, observations of nature and daily life and her pieces are poetic reflections on the world around her.