Where

By Luca Sabine Bernstein

We all come from somewhere, but that doesn’t mean we all belong somewhere. It took me a while to learn where I’m from, so now it’s time to learn where I belong.

I am from pleases and thank yous, customs I’ve taken too far.

I am my anxious Mothers’ greatest joy
and my Father’s biggest mistake

I’m from denial of who I am

And generations of pain.
I am from omens as truth
And moons that give me power,
From sunset to sunrise

I am from arrested stalkers.
4 charges to go
from freedom to fear.

I’m from letting it be
and never giving up.

I am from unspoken perfumes
And divorced parents

Broken families
but powerful Women

I am from notes that my voice couldn’t say
I am from wanting to run away.

But staying

Staying stuck

in a mediator’s office
holding it in.
I am from not crying,
from being what I thought strong was.
I’m grown, from growing up too fast.

And having been forced to give second chances, and thirds.
And from wanting to end on happiness,
when the end is nowhere near.

Process

Where I come from is something I think about a lot. I don’t remember exactly when and where I first started this poem, maybe it was in English class or maybe I wrote a line and it continued on. But I found this poem in the Notes app on my phone, half-done, and I really loved it so I rewrote it in my notebook, and have gone back to it countless times over the years. It still doesn’t feel finished, and maybe it never will. As I’m growing older, I’m learning more and more about where I’m from. I’m learning that where I’m from has a strong connection to where I belong, but that is still undiscovered.