Fear Is My Superpower

By Lorena De La Rosa

Regardless of its Merriam Webster definition of “a strong unpleasant feeling caused by being aware of danger or expecting something bad to happen.” For me, fear is a good thing. It gives me the ability to do the things I’m utterly terrified to do.

I have always had a fear of speaking in front of big groups, but one day in Boston was different. A group of students from my school had taken a trip to visit colleges and to meet Margaret Marshall, a prominent jurist in Massachusetts and a South African activist. She was interviewed by a journalist about her life’s journey before an audience of about 50 people and at the end there was an opportunity to ask her a question. I was very inspired by her story and had the question I wanted to ask her already written down. I stood up regardless of everyone watching me, and asked Ms. Marshall how I could change the world as she did. I felt so proud of myself! 

Throughout junior year, I joined a program at Rockefeller University where I developed the skills I would need to work in a lab. Toward the end of the academic program, my group and I had to present our proposal about how the world would benefit from plastic-eating bacteria. I was nervous because I would have to speak in front of a room full of scientists, but I was very passionate about my proposal. So even though I was scared, I pushed myself to be strong and speak with confidence. I was then chosen for the summer portion of the program where I worked at the Tavazoie Metastasis Biology and Gene Regulation lab and learned about the importance of molecular cloning. At the end of the program I had to present the experiment I had done with my mentor. I was still worried about making a mistake even if I had done this before, but I was well prepared and I did it. 

This year as a senior, I am in AP computer science and I can see how much I have grown from sophomore year to now. During sophomore year I took my first coding elective and I was afraid because I had no idea what to expect. I struggled with understanding the concepts and how to write code efficiently. At the end of the school year I received a 65, and I was upset that I didn’t master the class. I decided to try again next year. When I retook the class junior year, I still struggled with understanding how to code but I did my best. I asked questions, went to tutoring, and did practice problems online. When I received a 70 at the end of the semester, I was proud of myself because, even though it wasn’t such a good grade, I knew I had tried my best and had not given up. I can now write code efficiently and fully understand how important computer science is to society. 

Fear doesn’t give me the power to fly or the ability to laser beam a villain but it has driven me to accomplish things I never believed I could do. Fear has given me the power to face challenges and knock down any barriers in my way. Fear has allowed me to see what a warrior I am.